Affair Recovery for San Diego Couples
Whether you're in Coronado or Carlsbad, I've helped hundreds of local couples move from discovery day devastation to actually trusting again. It's possible. I've seen it happen.
Is This You?
If You Just Found Out
Can't sleep? Can't eat? Checking their phone constantly? Yeah, I know. Your whole world just got flipped. Maybe you discovered it during deployment, or found texts after that "work trip to Phoenix." You need someone who gets it.
- Process trauma responses
- Rebuild sense of safety
- Make informed decisions
If You Had the Affair
You messed up. You know it. Now you're watching the person you love fall apart and you'd do anything to fix it. The guilt's crushing. But here's the thing — if you're really ready to do the work, we can rebuild this.
- Understand your choices
- Develop empathy skills
- Rebuild trustworthiness
Real talk: This only works if you're both in. Not 50-50 — we need 100-100. The good news? Most couples who commit to the process tell me they end up closer than they were before everything went sideways.
What Actually Happens in My Office
First Month: Stopping the Bleeding
First, we gotta calm things down. You can't rebuild while the house is still on fire:
- •Figure out where you both are (and if anyone's about to lawyer up)
- •Set ground rules (like no contact with the third party — yes, that means blocking them)
- •Manage intense emotions and trauma responses
- •Decide how much detail to share (spoiler: there's a right way to do this)
- •Help you understand why your brain feels broken right now
Months 2-4: Understanding the Why
Now we dig deeper (but with care — this isn't about blame):
- •Explore factors that led to the affair
- •Process emotions in a structured way
- •Develop empathy and understanding
- •Learn new communication skills
- •Begin trust-building exercises
Months 4+: Building Something Better
This is where it gets good — creating version 2.0 of your relationship:
- •Rebuild intimacy and connection
- •Create new relationship agreements
- •Develop a shared vision for the future
- •Process forgiveness (if chosen)
- •Plan for ongoing relationship maintenance
How We'll Work Together
Gottman Method
The science-backed stuff that actually works. Think of it as a GPS for getting out of this mess — tested on thousands of couples just like you.
Relational Life Therapy
We'll be real with each other — no dancing around the hard stuff. This approach gets to the heart of why this happened and how to prevent it.
Trauma-Informed Care
Your brain's in survival mode right now. I'll teach you why you can't stop checking their location and how to calm your nervous system.
The Logistics (Because Your Brain Needs Structure Right Now)
How We Meet
- • 60 minutes (75 for first session)
- • Weekly at first (yes, you need it)
- • Homework that won't feel like homework
- • Check-ins every 6 weeks ("Are we getting somewhere?")
What We're Working Toward
- • Stop the emotional bleeding
- • Actually trust again (yes, it's possible)
- • Talk without it turning into World War 3
- • Feel closer than you did before (seriously)
Your Homework (The Stuff That Actually Helps)
The real work happens at home — in your Scripps Ranch kitchen or walking Fiesta Island. I'll give you:
- Specific exercises to practice at home
- Reading materials and resources
- Structured conversations to have together
- Individual reflection assignments
Ready to stop feeling like this?
Let's talk. Free 15-minute call to see if we're a good fit. No pressure, just real conversation.
Book Your Free Call